You really coming over, don't trick.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
