Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Gay?
German.
Pity.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
