His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
