She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
