btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
