Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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