I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I came so hard my ears popped.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
