haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
