i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
