Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
