I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
