Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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