I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
