Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
