My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
