so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
