Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Alive.
So much puke
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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