i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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