About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
