Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My legs feel like baby dolphins
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
