Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
