my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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