the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
