Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
