He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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