and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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