So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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