why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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