Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
