woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
