I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
