The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
