I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
