shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
