just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
