Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
