took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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