is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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