Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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