i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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