i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
