I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
