Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
