Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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