Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?

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(702): View more from Nevada

It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.

(775): View more from Nevada

Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????

(702): View more from Nevada

God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.

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(330): View more from Ohio

HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.

(330): View more from Ohio

IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.

(330): View more from Ohio

THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.

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