butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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