My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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