Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
