trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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