I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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